Love Is Paranoid
by explosionsintheskyxx
Summary: Ron loves Hermione but she never wants to speak to him again. Her friendship with Harry makes Ron jealous, that he separates himself from them. What is Ron going to do when he's sent on a dangerous mission for the Order, without help from them this time?
1. Realization

Disclaimer: Nothing Harry Potter-related belongs to me. And the title of this fic is from the song "Love Is Paranoid" by the Distillers which doesn't belong to me either.

This is my first fanfic, so I'm sorry if it's not that good. Please review.

I'll write a second chapter if people like it.

**Chapter One: Realization**

Ron lay on his bed, defeated. It seemed as though all the strength had gone out of his body. _How could she hate me,_ he thought desperately. _We're best friends… how could she… I love her so much… and she's so beautiful…_ Ron sniffled as a single tear ran down his cheek. He had never experienced something so painful. He wasn't even aware of what he was feeling. But what he did know was it felt like dying.

Laying there in the still of the night, he realized that he had been too late. He had gotten rid of Lavender Brown too late. He thought he just wanted a girlfriend to snog with. He had only just realized that all he wanted was Hermione. She was all he needed.

And now… Hermione never wanted to speak to him again. She hated him. As the moonlight shined through the dormitory window, Ron felt terror grip him, imagining a life without Hermione.

How could he survive?

The answer was simple: he couldn't.

But he had to at least try.

The next week went by in a blur. Ron could remember nothing of his lessons. Most of them were spent staring at the back of Hermione's head, praying that she'd turn around and smile at him.

But she didn't so much as look at him once.

He was in agony.

Harry had tried to comfort him, and he was grateful. But Harry couldn't offer any good advice. He had never been in love. He had never had his heart broken like this. Ron didn't want to worry Harry about him, but he just could find nothing to smile about anymore.

In fact, Ron felt stabs of jealousy when he saw Harry talking and laughing with Hermione. They were becoming more frequent, and Ron couldn't shake the feeling that he was being betrayed. _This is crazy though, why would Harry want to hurt me? I'm his best mate; he wouldn't do this to me._ Ron thought to himself desperately while trying to finish his homework in the common room one night. _Why should Harry get to laugh and talk to Hermione and be in her presence when I can't? I love her so much, and I'm not allowed within 5 feet of her. It's not fair._

Ron angrily stabbed his potions essay with his quill, successfully putting black blobs of ink all over it. He looked up and saw Hermione and Harry talking about who knows what next to the fire in the Gryffindor common room. Ron's face burned as he turned back to his essay. He scowled. He had successfully made his homework indecipherable.

He couldn't stand it anymore. He gathered all of his things and made his way up to his dormitory. Night had fallen and the only light in the dormitory was the moonlight spilling through the window. All the winter snow on the Hogwarts grounds had melted away, and the unyielding cold of winter gave way to pleasantly mild nights.

Ron sighed. Even the weather was not agreeing him. Outside it was calm and quiet, but inside of Ron his emotions were churning like a massive storm. He had never felt so many things at once. Anger, love, hate, jealousy, sadness, apprehension… all these emotions seemed to be struggling with each other in the pit of Ron's stomach.

He threw his things into the trunk at the foot of his bed. He was too angry to do any work. He heard someone else coming up to the dormitory and turned to find Harry standing at the door with a stupid smile on his face.

"Hey Ron, are you finished? Could I have a look at your essay?"

Ron glared at him. The ball of emotions leapt to his throat. At the sight of Harry, Ron's cheeks flamed and he felt furious. "Why don't you just ask Hermione? I'm sure she'd be _glad_ to help you, very _glad_," Ron said huffily. Harry's smile faltered.

"What do you mean by that? You know she doesn't let me copy…" Harry asked, as he furrowed his eyebrows.

"Oh don't give me that, you know perfectly well what I mean! Always around her, laughing and talking, charming her… who do you think you're fooling Potter?" Ron asked with a sneer. His fists were clenched, and he was overcome with the urge to punch Harry in the nose.

"What? Ron you sound like Malfoy… what's gotten into you? I'm not charming anyone," Harry said, backing towards the door. Ron walked shakily up to Harry. As Ron stared into Harry's face, he knew he couldn't take it anymore. He felt like he was going to explode.

"Famous Harry Potter… the Boy Who Lived… 'The Chosen One'…" Ron was breathing heavily right into Harry's face. "Who could resist? Any girl would love to be Potter's girlfriend it's. AND YOU HAD TO PICK HER. YOU HAD TO PICK THE ONLY GIRL THAT I'VE EVER CARED ABOUT. WELL GO AHEAD AND TAKE HER AND JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!" Ron shouted. He found tears coming down his cheeks. Harry looked confused.

"Ron… mate, I don't like Hermione. We're just friends… we always have been, you know that. I would never do that to you."

Ron narrowed his eyes and shoved Harry against the door. He grabbed the front of his robes and pinned him there.

"Yeah, right well… I bet she likes you. Everyone likes you. And no one ever looks at me. I'm just another Weasley boy, with nothing special about me," Harry looked scared as Ron spoke in a harsh whisper. "Well I'm sick and tired of living in your shadow. I'm tired of being your bloody sidekick. It's over," Ron growled and let go of Harry's robes with a shove.

Harry stood there for a second, obviously shocked. "What do you mean over…?"

"It's over. I'm not speaking to you anymore. I'm not following you on your silly adventures. I'm sick of it. I'm Ron Weasley. Not some nameless servant boy who follows you around constantly. I have nothing more to say to you," and with that, Ron went to his bed and got under the covers, staring at the ceiling.

Harry opened his mouth as if to say something, but shut it again. He shook his head slightly and turned and left the dormitory.

And that was it. Ron laid there as the silence pressed in on him. He had the sick feeling that something was sitting on his chest, and he couldn't breathe properly. His stomach was churning, and his head felt like it was on fire. He couldn't believe what he had just done. Harry had been the best friend he'd ever had…

But every time Ron thought about him, his chest burned in anger.

Especially when he thought about him and her.


	2. When It All Falls Apart

So here's chapter 2. I'm sorry if it's not good, it's 4 in the morning right now, and I'm somewhat delirious. Review please.

**Chapter 2: When It All Falls Apart**

For the next couple of days, Ron completely ignored Harry. Even though they sat next to each other in most classes, and slept in the same room, Ron barely looked at Harry. Every time he did, Harry was with Hermione, and Ron's face would get hot with anger. Harry had tried several times to talk to Ron, but Ron would turn away and start talking to someone else, asking them if they thought the room was drafty and if they were hearing things too.

Everyone seemed to notice that Ron had no longer been talking to Harry and Hermione. Some people were worried and asked Ron about it, who just shrugged and said he had never heard of a "Harry Potter" in his life. However, when Draco Malfoy realized this, it seemed like Christmas had come early for the pale blond boy. Everyday he would make snide remarks to Ron, asking him why he wasn't carrying Harry's book bag that day, or polishing his broomstick.

In Potions class, two weeks after Ron had his blow up in the dormitory, Malfoy swaggered over to Ron's cauldron. Ron was nervously prodding his potion with his wand, trying to make it turn from a murky yellow color to the deep red it was supposed to be. Malfoy snatched Ron's wand right out of his hand and was twirling it in his fingers.

"Give it back. Now," Ron demanded. Malfoy's gray eyes glittered.

"No I don't think I will. I'd never take orders from a Weasley," Malfoy smirked.

"What do you want?" Ron said, sounding tired. He didn't get much sleep these days.

"I'm just curious as to why you aren't attached to Potter's side as usual," Malfoy said watching his hand as he waved Ron's wand in the air, small red sparks shooting out of it.

"None of your business!" Ron snapped as he snatched for the sparking wand. Malfoy yanked it out of reach, despite Ron's long gangly arms.

"Ah-ah, manners Weasley. But I should have known you have never learned _proper manners_ from your embarrassment of a family," Malfoy ignored the way Ron's eyes flamed and went on, "I am glad that you stopped associating with that Granger mudblood. She's bad news, that's what she is. Always getting in the way, such an annoying know-it-all. I just want to gag her and stuff her into a broom closet," Malfoy said, smiling. He looked absolutely pleased at this idea as he slipped Ron's wand into the front pocket on his robes. Ron's face had turned the same bright red color of his hair, and his whole body seemed to be shaking with anger. He was wishing he had his wand back so he could hex Malfoy into oblivion.

The Slytherin laughed to himself. He could see he was getting to Ron.

"What are you getting so worked up about Weasel? You're not even friends with the girl anymore. Unless…" Malfoy's eyes glinted maliciously, "you still want to be friends with her. Or perhaps even more than friends…?" Ron grimaced from the pain of his fingernails digging into his palms. His face was hot and he had never had a stronger feeling to hit Malfoy before. Malfoy's smile grew wider.

"Ha, it seems I have been right all along," Malfoy said with a loud laugh. He raised his voice so everyone in the class could hear. "Little Weasel here has had feelings for Granger all along!"

Ron looked around the class in horror as people all around the room looked up from their cauldrons to stare curiously at Ron and Malfoy. Ron looked over his shoulder and saw Hermione looking at them, gaping at what she had just heard. Hermione's eyes met Ron's for a split second, and she hastily went back to pouring things into her cauldron. Ron returned his attention to Malfoy.

"I. Never. Liked. Her," he growled through clenched teeth. Malfoy chuckled. The whole class seemed to be staring at them in rapt attention.

"It's not a secret. I'm not surprised, judging by your father, everyone here knows you like nothing less than trash," the blond boy sneered, fingering Ron's wand in his pocket.

And then, before Ron even knew what was happening, he was on top of him, trying to punch every bit of him he could reach. Ron couldn't even see clearly, all he knew was that he had to hurt the smug git for what he just said. Ron felt two strong hands pull him upwards, away from Malfoy. Malfoy was lying on the ground with his hands over his nose, blood gushing freely through the gaps in his fingers.

Ron was twirled around and face to face with Professor Snape. Ron's eyes widened in shock as the realization of what he just did settled in. All of sudden he felt very sick and had the impulse to make a break for the door. But of course, Snape would probably curse him if he so much as took a step, and his feet felt like they were nailed to the floor anyways.

Snape's beady black eyes bored into Ron, calculating, as if he was searching for something.

"What the hell has gotten into you Mr. Weasley?" Snape spoke in a low undertone. Ron glanced around the room and noticed that everyone had gotten up from their cauldrons and was gathered around them.

Malfoy jumped to his feet and covered his nose, trying not to get blood on his immaculate robes.

"He attacked me for no reason Professor!" Malfoy yelled indignantly, even though it was hard to hear with his hands over his face.

"I can handle this myself, Mr. Malfoy," Snape said coolly. He looked Ron up and down as if Ron was something nasty stuck on the bottom of his shoe. "So Mr. Weasley, starting fights for no reason, are we?" Snape pressed his face no further than a couple inches from Ron's. Ron felt the anger rising in him again.

"I just wanted to get my wand back from him, Professor," Ron said, trying hard to keep his voice steady. He knew he didn't want to give Snape more of a reason to throw him out of class. Snape's eyes never left Ron's as his upper lip curled unpleasantly into a dark smile.

"Well then, why didn't you just ask for it back nicely? That's what someone with _proper manners_ would've done," Snape said, putting emphasis on the phrase ' proper manners', just as Malfoy had done. Ron glared at the potions master. Snape had heard everything Draco said earlier. He didn't do anything about it until Ron had pounced on Malfoy. It was like they both waited until Ron snapped. It was as if they planned it. The unfairness of it all only made Ron bold.

"Speak for yourself," Ron snapped. Snape's eyes widened in shock. "Sir," Ron added smugly in mockery. Snape's smile disappeared. Ron could hear some people in the crowd watching whispering amongst themselves. Snape reached forward and grabbed Ron's arm in a tight grip.

"What did you just say to me Weasley?" he growled, gripping Ron's arm even harder. Ron stared at Snape's features for a second before answering. He was so angry, every vein in his head was pronounced and seemed to be throbbing. His black greasy hair was cast all about his head, and he looked as though he was going to have a heart attack.

"I'm sorry sir," Ron said, hanging his head. Snape let go of his arm.

"That's more like it. I'm sending you straight to McGonagall and then she can deal with you," he said, angrily, turning around and starting to walk to his desk.

"You didn't let me finish," Ron said, still looking at the ground. Snape whirled around, his robes knocking over some vials on his desk. Ron raised his head and looked determinedly at the professor. "I'm sorry that you're such a git and you have to pick on your own students for enjoyment. And I'm sorry that you'd rather favor a prat like Malfoy than someone like Hermione who actually knows what she's doing in this class," Ron paused for a second, and then went on, "But I'm not sorry that practically everyone in this school hates you, Professor. You are the one that has no manners, not me. And excuse me for saying this sir, but I think you should go burn in hell."

The silence in the room was unbearable. Ron could hardly believe that those words had just come out of his mouth, but he strangely didn't feel scared at all. He was done with being afraid. And he was sick of putting up with everyone's crap. Snape stood there, staring at Ron with a kind of loathing Ron had never before seen in his eyes.

Ron looked around the room and everyone was just standing there in shock. Hermione looked like she was going to cry, and Harry mouth was hanging wide open. Neville looked the same, but had a little bit of drool coming down his chin. Malfoy had forgotten all about his bleeding nose, and was staring at Ron in awe.

"How dare you?" Snape breathed so that Ron could barely hear him. Ron shrugged.

"I'm just saying what everyone thinks Professor." Snape's face was mask-like, as it was so screwed up with anger.

"MR. WEASLEY, I WANT NOTHING MORE TO CURSE YOU AT THIS MOMENT AND TURN YOU INTO A WORM THAT I CAN STEP ON!" Snape screamed, advancing on Ron and stopping right before him. Ron could feel his breath on his face. The professor seemed to gain some of his composure back. He straightened his robes and ran a pale hand through his lank hair. "Are you done insulting me?"

"Yeah, I think I proved my point," Ron replied savagely.

"Good. I'm sick of this disrespect. I'm taking you straight to the headmaster. He can deal with you," Snape said sweeping past Ron. For the first time, Ron regretted what he had said. Snape was bringing him straight to Dumbledore? Can you get expelled for telling a teacher to go to hell? At least he didn't hex Snape. But then again… he didn't have his wand.

"The rest of you finish your potions and leave a sample for me on my desk. If I hear that any of you put so much as a toe out of line, you will be joining Mr. Weasley here," Snape roared to the rest of the class. Instantly everyone scattered and went back to their cauldrons, talking in excited whispers… everyone except Malfoy. He walked right up to Ron and pressed Ron's wand into his chest.

"You're going to pay for this one, Weasel," Malfoy said under his breath so only Ron could hear, "I doubt Dumbledore's going to keep you around after this. But don't worry about it, I'll keep Potter and Granger safe after you're gone," he raised his eyebrows and smirked. Ron bristled.

"Clean off your face Malfoy, you look disgusting," Ron growled. Malfoy's smirk faltered and he skulked off.

"Come now, Weasley. Follow me," Snape said, opening the door as Ron followed. Ron followed at a distance as Snape led him down a series of corridors and staircases.

He wasn't even paying attention to where he was going. Ron knew he was done for. Malfoy was right, there was no way he wasn't going to get expelled after this. Ron was silently cursing himself for acting so recklessly the whole time he glumly followed Snape. He felt as though his stomach was tied in knots, and he was sweating profusely from his nerves.

In a matter of no time they arrived at a statue of an ugly goblin. Snape looked down his nose at Ron and said, "This will be your last day here, Weasley. I'm sure of it."

Ron looked at the entrance to Dumbledore's office and gulped.

He had thought he couldn't live without Harry and Hermione… how could he live if he wasn't even allowed to come back to Hogwarts?


	3. The Special Detention

Once again, I'm writing this at 3 in the morning. Sorry if it's not that good, and it's somewhat a long chapter too. The next chapters will be more exciting. I'll write more if I get more reviews. And I'm sorry if it takes a while to get chapters up, but I have a life, and I'm prone to writer's block a lot of the time. Well, enjoy.

**Chapter 3: The Special Detention **

"Goody gumdrops," Snape stated to the statue with a pained expression on his face. Ron would've laughed at the fact that Snape looked appalled that he had just said that, but he was about to be expelled from Hogwarts. He couldn't find much humor in anything.

The statue jumped aside, and a revolving spiral staircase started to move upwards from the ground. Snape made a movement like he was going to grab Ron and push him onto the stairs, but looked revolted at the idea of touching him. He gave Ron a sharp look and Ron stepped onto the staircase. At last it stopped moving, and Ron and Professor Snape climbed up the last couple of stairs to the door of Dumbledore's office. Ron felt strongly like he was going to throw up, and severely hoped that he would do it on Snape.

Snape rapped sharply on the door, and heard the scraping of a chair from inside. The door opened and Ron was staring up at the smiling face of Albus Dumbledore.

"Mr. Weasley, Severus – quite a surprise. Come in and sit, please," Dumbledore said amiably and he turned around and made his way to a large comfy looking chair behind his desk. He conjured two other chairs in front of his desk, and Ron practically collapsed into one. He felt so afraid, he was sure his knees were about to give way from under him. Dumbledore glanced at Ron with a flash of worry and then flicked his eyes over to Snape.

"Forgive me headmaster, but I would rather stand," Snape said, his mouth set in a grim line. Dumbledore gave a small nod, and brought his hands together in a clap and then placed them folded on his desk as he leaned forward to Ron.

"Are you alright Ron? You look as though you're about to be sick, and I would hate for it to happen all over my desk," Dumbledore stared at Ron, his blue eyes twinkling in concern. Ron opened his mouth, but no noise came out. He was so scared; he could not trust himself to speak. Dumbledore raised his wand and conjured a pail next to Ron on the desk. Ron nodded gratefully.

"Do not show him pity, headmaster," Snape spoke in a low venomous tone. He glared at Ron and Ron shifted his gaze to the carpet.

"And why not Severus? Had it been you who looked like this, I would've conjured you a pail," Dumbledore said, twiddling his thumbs idly.

"Mr. Weasley has shown me the most disrespect ever by any student in all my teaching here," Snape breathed in deeply, "Never since my own school days when James Potter was still at school have I ever experienced such anger and indignation in being insulted as Mr. Weasley has just done, "Snape's eyes bulged as he looked at Dumbledore, "And he also attacked a fellow student," he finished, almost as an afterthought. Dumbledore nodded faintly.

"I see… and tell me Severus, what exactly happened?" Dumbledore asked, stroking his silvery beard.

"Well sir," Snape began with an air of importance, "I had to pull Mr. Weasley off of Draco Malfoy, as he interrupted my potions lesson. I began to lecture him on his behavior, and he snapped back at me in a rude manner. I threatened to send him to Professor McGonagall…" Snape trailed off, as he glared at Ron again, his nose upturned as if he smelled something foul.

"Please, go on," Dumbledore urged, his face passive.

"Then Mr. Weasley decided to inform me that everyone in the school hates me, headmaster, and went on to tell me that he thinks I should burn in hell," Snape spat, malice dripping off his voice.

Ron felt his face burn and he knew his ears were turning the same vivid red as his hair at the moment. He was sure Dumbledore was ashamed of him. Dumbledore turned to Ron and Ron felt compelled to look up.

"Is this true?" he asked simply, his voice clear of accusation. Ron nodded slowly. "But I'm sure that you have your own version of events to tell me," Dumbledore said expectantly. Ron nodded vigorously. "Very well, Mr. Weasley, it is your turn to relay the events onto my old brain."

Ron shot a nervous glance at Snape who was shooting daggers through his eyes at Ron. Ron tried to start, but his voice had escaped him again. Dumbledore suddenly turned to Snape.

"I'm sorry Severus, but it seems as though we'll never hear what Mr. Weasley has to say unless you leave us." Snape looked shocked.

"Headmaster, please, I would like to remain and tell you what really happened -," Dumbledore cut him off.

"You have already told me. Events seem different to certain people, I'm sure there are different aspects of the story that you both missed. I would better understand if I heard it from both sides. But I will never hear what Ron has to say if you remain here. He seems to be fearful under the unfriendly looks you keep giving him," Dumbledore said with a slight smile.

"I have your word headmaster, that Mr. Weasley will be punished as fit?" Snape's eyes were dark as night, and the look on his face was mutinous. Ron knew if he somehow managed to escape this with anything less than expulsion, the potions master would go mad. Dumbledore nodded simply. Snape scowled and without another word swept across the room and exited through the door slamming it shut behind him.

"Well then Ron, I'd like to hear your version of the events now," Dumbledore said kindly.

Ron launched into his explanation of how Malfoy insulted his family and Hermione, and stole his wand, and how that led to Ron jumping on him, and how that led Snape berating Ron's lack of manners, and how that led Ron to believe that he refused to punish Malfoy and would rather torture Ron out of pleasure, and how that led to Ron snapping and telling Snape to burn in hell.

Ron had said this all without stopping and seemed to be very out of the breath by the end of his story. Dumbledore who had been staring at him attentively throughout this account, stared at him thoughtfully for a moment, and then leaned back in his chair.

Ron looked around the room at some of the whirring silver instruments and at the beautiful red and gold phoenix Fawkes, resting with his head under his wing. Dumbledore cleared his throat and Ron jumped and stared at the old wizard.

"If you don't mind me saying Mr. Weasley… Mr. Malfoy has teased you and your friends many times in the past, saying much of the same things that he said to you today… why, this time, did you choose to give him a bloody nose, rather than ignore it as always?" Dumbledore's expression was one of pure curiosity. Ron sat there for a moment, thinking. Every excuse he came up with sounded stupid in his head, perhaps _he _didn't even know the reason why he did it.

"I- I'm not quite sure Professor," Ron said shakily, "I s- suppose I just snapped this time," Ron hung his head. There was no way that brilliant explanation was going to get him off expulsion. Dumbledore raised his eyebrows in almost amusement.

"Harry or Hermione did not try to stop you? Where were they in all this?" Ron shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Well sir, me and Hermione got into an argument, which led to me and Harry getting into an argument… and I haven't spoken to either of them in weeks," Ron finished, feeling as though his stomach was trying to escape through his mouth.

"Ah," said Dumbledore, comprehension dawning on his features. "Now I see… well Mr. Weasley, you know that you were wrong in your actions," Dumbledore said sternly. "Despite popular beliefs, Professor Snape doesn't deserve to burn in hell," Ron thought he saw a glimmer of a smile, but it faded quickly. "We do strange things when we feel alone in this world. I expect life has been a tad bit harder now that you no longer have Hermione or Harry to talk to." Ron shrugged and turned away. He didn't really want to talk about his traitorous friends at the moment. Dumbledore got up from the chair and strode around the room, and went over to stroke Fawkes' gorgeous plumage.

"Ron, you know at the state of things… it is not wise to stray far from our friends who trust us and care about us," he said gravely, facing Fawkes rather than Ron. Ron knew he was talking about the return of Voldemort.

"Yes, I do," Ron whispered, not sure of where this was going.

"It is more important now than ever to remain with those who love us… now that everyone believes Harry and I… about the Dark Lords' return... we must all remain united against the enemy, and refuse the dark feelings of jealousy, hate, and anger that destroy the relationships that matter most," Dumbledore turned around and stared into Ron's eyes. Dumbledore's gaze was steely and severe, and Ron felt the urge to run, hide, do anything to get out of the way of his stare.

"I understand sir, I do," Ron began, even though he wasn't sure he understood at all, "But with all due respect, what does this have to do with telling Professor Snape to go to hell?" Ron just didn't understand what Dumbledore was getting at. Maybe the headmaster really was starting to go batty as he got older.

"I don't believe you do understand… but it's understandable, you're still young. You still have lots to experience, even though you've been through much more than the average wizard your age, seeing as you've been Harry Potter's friend for 6 years," Dumbledore's look softened. "Now we must discuss your punishment."

Ron's eyes widened and he grabbed the pail off the desk, clutching it to his chest.

"I don't think the regular detention will do… not even a week's detention, no…," Dumbledore tapped his chin with a long finger, contemplating. Ron clutched the pail tighter to him, like a security blanket.

_Oh no, here it comes…my wands going to be snapped in half and everything... Mum's going to kill me when I come home early… I'll never be let out of the house again…Maybe I can stay on and take another job in the castle... like Filch's assistant... or more likely Mrs. Norris' assisstant..., _Ron thought to himself forlornly.

"We'll just have to issue a… special detention…" Dumbledore looked at Ron as though he was keeping a secret from him.

"Special detention?" Ron croaked. Images of him chained upside down in the dungeons while Filch prodded him with a mop handle paraded themselves through Ron's head. He shuddered at the thought.

"Yes… meet me back in here a week from now, at 7 o'clock. Please don't be late, once you arrive we'll have to get you underway quickly. And now Mr. Weasley, you can return to your classes," Dumbledore said, returning to his seat behind his desk. Ron gaped at him for a second. He wasn't being expelled?

"If you don't mind me asking Professor, what will I be doing?" Ron asked, expecting the worst, he felt his legs quivering. Dumbledore smiled kindly and crinkled his crooked nose.

"You'll be doing something for the Order. It will be dangerous, but I'm sure you will manage," he said shortly. As an afterthought he added, "I won't write to your mother if you won't. I'm not sure she'd be too happy hearing that I'm taking her son out on dangerous missions." Ron dropped the pail and it clattered on the floor. That wasn't a detention at all! Ron had always wanted to do something for the Order ever since they'd found out about it in the summer before 5th year.

"Why?" Ron blurted before he could stop himself. Dumbledore looked over his half-moon glasses at Ron, looking as if he invited every student that insulted a teacher to accompany him on dangerous missions with him.

"I believe that it will teach you things about yourself, and your friends. I know you find yourself to be shadowed in Harry's glory a lot of the time, Ron. But remember, he has been through a lot in his life, and has faced many hardships and losses-," Ron cut him off by saying "I know Professor, I know. But what has that got to do with my punishment?" Dumbledore smiled secretively and responded, "You will know when we are done Ron. It will be clear then," he grabbed a quill and began scratching things down on a piece of parchment in front of him. "Farewell Mr. Weasley."

Ron decided it was best not to ask further questions, judging from the finality in Dumbledore's voice. He muttered a quick thank you and retreated from the headmaster's office. He climbed down the spiral staircase and walked quickly down the hall towards Charms.

He could hardly believe his luck. He had not been expelled at all, but was helping the most important wizarding organization in the world on an important mission. Maybe he was doing something that would change the world or something. Ron felt a bounce in his step. Some part of him told him he should be worried about what he might face, and what exactly he was doing on this mission, but another part of him was calling that part a prat and was thoroughly excited.

It had actually been a very good day for Ron Weasley. Maybe it was a little taxing on the emotional part, but good nonetheless. He had punched Draco Malfoy in the nose, and told Professor Snape to go to hell. And he escaped expulsion with the promise of a grand adventure. Ron found himself outside the Charms classroom, thinking about how Harry and Hermione were going to look after he told them about his "punishment". Hermione would be worried and offer to look up helpful hexes for him for when he got into danger. Harry would look envious and then they would proceed to guess what the task would be.

Ron froze with his hand on the doorknob. What was he thinking? He was no longer speaking to Harry and Hermione. Ron felt a strange pang of regret in his chest. He had no one to share this victory with. In fact, he had no one at all.

Ron had a large family, and Harry and Hermione around him at all times… he had never been truly alone in his life. He never had really experienced a feeling as vast as loneliness. It left him feeling as though there was a gaping hole inside of his chest. Ron tried to shrug this feeling aside as he opened the door to the class.

An odd hush fell over everyone as Ron entered and took a seat next to Dean. Dean was staring at him warily, as though Ron might pounce on him and give him a bloody nose. When Ron just sat there, looking sulky and unimpressive, everyone turned back to their work.

"So mate, what happened? Obviously you aren't expelled," Dean asked eagerly, staring intensively at Ron's pale face. Seamus leaned in from behind Dean. Ron thought he should've taken this to gloat, but he just shook his head. He didn't feel much like talking. Normally he would take any opportunity to feel important and brag about anything- like how he had escaped expulsion without a detention- but Ron felt as though all the energy had been zapped out of him.

Ron heard an odd squeak from behind him and turned to see Hermione standing there, looking very nervous.

"I just wanted to say thanks for standing up for me against Malfoy like that," Hermione muttered, looking everywhere but Ron's face. Ron's heart rose as he realized that Hermione was speaking to him again. Things could go back to normal. He felt uplifted- but those good feelings crashed down upon Ron as Harry appeared behind Hermione, looking hopeful. An odd rushing sound reached Ron's ears as he frowned.

"I didn't do it for you. He insulted my family," Ron said dully, looking quite bored. Hermione frowned, and Harry looked angry.

"Oh, well, of course, but I thought-," Ron cut her off by saying, "Well you thought wrong didn't you? Don't you have house points to earn or something?" Ron snapped. Harry glowered at Ron, and Hermione looked like she was about to cry. Ron didn't care, he had cried enough for the past couple of weeks.

"Come on Hermione, we don't need to take this from a prat like him," Harry said dangerously, and grabbed Hermione's arm. Ron's stomach flip-flopped when he saw Harry touch her and he scowled.

"Yeah, bugger off, I'm sure you have some autographs to sign or something," Ron growled. Harry pulled Hermione off with him to the other side of the room where they sat whispering urgently for the rest of the class period. Dean and Seamus got the idea that Ron was not in the mood for talking and left him alone for the rest of class.

Ron sat there simmering in anger, wondering why he just did what he did. Hermione and Harry had obviously come to reconcile with him. Ron's stubborn pride and fat mouth got in the way. The hole inside Ron's chest seemed to have grown even larger. He had just felt so resentful towards them. They hadn't known how he felt, they had each other the past couple of weeks. They had not missed him at all. Ron had been the one suffering, all alone.

_If I am so lonely, why am I so quick to refuse their company? _Ron sighed as this thought floated across his mind.

And for a second Ron felt as though he understood what Dumbledore meant when he said that people do strange things when they feel alone.


	4. Confessions

So here we go, Chapter 4. Again, my apologies if it sucks. The next chapter shall have more action and such. This chapter has more Ron and Hermione though, which is good, and Ron's not such a jerk. If I get enough reviews, I'll have the next chapter up in like two days. But that's if I get enough reviews.

**Chapter 4: Confessions **

Ron was sure that the next week that passed was the slowest week in the history of his life. It felt as if he were in a waking coma.

He avoided the common room at all costs, as Hermione and Harry were likely to be there, their heads together, muttering non-stop and shooting furtive glances at him. They hadn't tried to talk to him after that time in Charms, and Ron wasn't sure whether to feel relieved or down about this. His heart still ached intensely when he saw Hermione, and he still felt the urge to punch Harry when he saw him.

In addition to that, Snape had become increasingly nasty to Ron. His grades in potions weren't great to begin with, but now he was getting Trolls on all of his assignments, and Snape never passed up an opportunity to embarrass him in class, to Draco Malfoy's delight. Ron shrugged it off. Snape was just mad because he wasn't expelled.

Ron was just extremely glad when a week had passed, and it was time for his mission for the Order.

He could barely hide his excitement, and couldn't concentrate in classes the whole day. When dinnertime came, he could barely eat, but managed to eat something, and hurried up to Dumbledore's office. He arrived at the stone gargoyle.

"Goody gumdrops," Ron said to the gargoyle, feeling out of breath. The gargoyle jumped aside and Ron stepped onto the revolving staircase. He seemed to be sweating quite a bit, and his nerves were all in a jumble. His stomach seemed to be jumping about inside of him, as if it was keen to escape.

As Ron faced the door to Dumbledore's office, a sense of foreboding overcame him. What if it really was a very dangerous mission, and he were killed? He tried to put these feelings away as he raised his hand to knock on the door. It opened and Ron found himself about to run his fist right into Mad-Eye Moody's electric blue eye. Ron withdrew his hand quickly, and stared at Moody.

"Ah, Mr. Weasley, we've been waiting for you," he said gruffly, standing back so Ron could enter the office. Ron found himself also in the presence of Lupin and Tonks, both looking particularly grim. The office was bathed in a dim light, produced by a few candles, so Ron could barely make out their faces. Dumbledore sat serenely behind his desk.

"Hello Ron," Lupin said, a worn smile crossing his lips. Tonks looked like she tried to smile at him, but failed. Ron merely nodded at them, words seeming to fail him.

"Is zis 'im? Is zis Weezy?" boomed a deep voice behind Ron. Ron umped and whirled around as a tall wizard emerged from the shadows. He was a handsome wizard, his robes a deep red color. He had copper colored hair that seemed to change from a brownish color to a red color with the flickering of the candlelight. He had a large build, and his arms were folded in an uninterested manner. "'e is kind of skinny izn't 'e?" he asked, looking Ron up and down with critical gray eyes. Ron felt his cheeks flush.

"The name is Weas-ley," Ron said, sounding out the syllables. "And I'm not that skinny!" he announced angrily.

"Ron I'd like to introduce you to Adrien. He has just graduated from Beauxbatons last year and has been a key person in helping the Order's influence spread through France. He will be assisting you all in your mission," Dumbledore said with a smile. Adrien extended a large hand towards Ron, and Ron shook it. His grip was very strong and Ron thought he heard some bones in his hand crack.

"'e is too young for zis. It is dangerous," Adrien said darkly, looking at Dumbledore.

"I'm afraid I have to agree with Adrien. Dumbledore, I think you should reconsider," Lupin said, with an apologetic glance to Ron. "There is a reason there's an age limit to joining the Order. Ron probably doesn't know enough magic to save him if he gets into a sticky situation, and we may not be there to help him – I'm not saying you're not a good wizard Ron, I know you are, and you've demonstrated it on many levels before," Lupin said, clapping a hand on Ron's shoulder. "But Molly doesn't even know, and I'm sure she would object."

Dumbledore stood up and replied, "I have alerted Arthur about Ron's current position. He seems to agree with my decision, even though he is very worried. He will alert Molly in good time, and I am prepared to take Molly's wrath when the time comes. However, I am confident in Ron's abilities as a wizard, and his abilities as a person," Dumbledore said with a reassuring wink at Ron. Ron felt some of the worry that seemed to be weighing down on his shoulders lift, and he beamed at the headmaster.

"He has experienced more than any of us know, I'm sure. However, Ron, I want you to stick close to these people. It is dangerous, what you're going to do, and they will help you. Do not lose your head, and keep calm. The greatest strength that a person has in an unexpected situation is their own wit and determination," Dumbledore turned from Ron to address them all, saying, "Watch after each other. Be careful, but keep the goal in mind," and to this they all nodded grimly.

"Now Ron, I'll let you know what you will be doing," Dumbledore said, leaning against his desk. Ron fidgeted, anxiousness weighing down on his mind. What if it was a crazy task that he couldn't possibly do? What if he was completely useless?

"Well Ron, you know there are other Ministries of Magic all over the world in different countries," Dumbledore began, and Ron nodded. "It seems that the French Ministry is in a bit of trouble," Dumbledore said softly. Ron looked at Dumbledore, alarmed. He was going to France?

"What happened?" Ron asked urgently. He wanted to get the worse over quickly.

"I'll tell you what 'appened!" Adrien started, obviously flustered at the idea that Ron had no clue what was going on, "Meeneester Darley ordered all ze muggle-borns an' ze 'alf-bloods out of France! Zen 'e began ordering zem to be killed! Zey are murdering muggles for enjoyment!" As Adrien explained this, he was wheeling his arms about in a flurry. Ron wondered to himself briefly if all French men talked with large hand gestures.

"Please Adrien, try to compose yourself. We're going to solve the problem as soon as possible," Dumbledore said in a soothing voice.

"As you can imagine Ron, France is in an uproar. Many witches and wizards, even those of pureblood descent are fleeing into neighboring countries. Many at the French ministry have been killed, or have fled, leaving the country and the government in total disarray. It's just how things were back when Voldemort was really in control," Lupin said solemnly. Moody barked a short laugh.

"If we're not careful, our ministry will end up like that soon," he growled. At seeing the panic-stricken look on Ron's face, Tonks quickly added,

"But don't worry Ron, we have Dumbledore here and all… we just have to concentrate on their ministry first," Adrien was nodding firmly.

"So how could this happen? Is Darley under the Imperius Curse?" Ron's head was filled with questions, and it seemed to be bursting with all the information he was gathering.

"Right you are, Weasley," Moody barked, the candlelight reflecting off his face in a sinister way."We believe there are a lot of Death Eaters in the Ministry of Magic building with him. They're keeping him and some of the other people in the building under the curse, and using them to do Voldemort's will."

"What about the Aurors? How did Death Eaters just manage to burst into a building full of trained Aurors?" Ron asked with a raised eyebrow. It didn't seem that these French aurors were like their British ones.

"Well they are spread thin Ron, just like our Aurors are. Everyone's all over the place, trying to find out where Voldemort is, and what he's doing. There's about a half-dozen Aurors in the building also under the curse. They're the ones that the Death Eaters have been using to murder the half-bloods and muggle-borns," Lupin said wearily. Even in the diminished light, Ron could plainly see the bags under his eyes. He felt sorry for Lupin. It must be hard to be a werewolf and be a key part of an organization that's working day and night to rid the world of evil.

"A lot of our Aurors are defending Beauxbatons. It is ze only safe place left en ze country," Adrien said quietly. Ron contemplated the French boy for a moment. Adrien couldn't be more than a year or two older than him… and here he was, just out of school, ready to face You-Know-Who and his supporters. Ron wanted to prove that he could be that brave too.

"I want to help. What can I do?" Ron said, trying to keep his voice from quivering. He was going to be going up against Death Eaters and Aurors under the Imperius Curse? This _was_ going to be dangerous. And it didn't seem to be as fun as Ron thought it was going to be the previous week.

"We're going to have to infiltrate the Ministry of Magic building, and capture the Death Eaters inside. And we can't forget about the ones outside the Ministry also. It's going to be very dangerous, and very hard. Are you sure you're up to this?" Moody asked Ron, his magical blue eye was rolling all about his head, but his normal one was staring at Ron. Ron nodded grimly. He was ready. He was going to do this. Dumbledore clapped his hands together, and Ron jumped at the sudden noise.

"Alright then, it's settled. Ron I want you to go to your dormitory and pick up anything you might need for the trip. Remus, Tonks, Alastor, and Adrien will go ahead of us to make sure everything is all clear for when we arrive. Be quick now," Dumbledore urged, and Ron nodded and bolted for the door.

He ran all the way to the Gryffindor common room, and was quite out of breath. Even though he had been looking forward to this mission, he couldn't stop the fear that was flooding through his body.

He ran up to his dormitory and opened his trunk to retrieve his winter cloak. He stopped to think if there was anything else he needed. Nothing came to mind, so he left the dormitory. As he made his way back into the common room, he stopped. He looked around for Hermione and found her sitting with Harry by the fire, reading a book.

Ron felt a vice clasp around his heart. This could be the last time he saw her. She would never know that he still loved her, no matter the mean things he had said to her before. She would never know how his heart fluttered every time her amber eyes met his. She would never know how he adored the way she scrunched up her nose when she was concentrating on a book or assignment. Or how his whole body tingled every time she touched him, he had to smile every time she laughed.

She would never know how he had imagined and dreamed about holding her, and kissing her.

And at that moment, he knew what he had to do. He didn't know if he was going to regret it later, but he gathered up all of his nerves, and marched over to them by the fire. Harry glared at him, but he ignored it, and turned to face Hermione. She looked up curiously at him.

"Hermione," he began, kneeling down so he could look into her eyes, "I may never see you again, and I want you to know that I love you. I love you with everything that I am," Ron tried to breathe in deeply, for it seemed something was constricting his chest. Hermione gaped at him, not able to speak. Harry looked the same.

Taking advantage of the silence, Ron leaned forward and put his hand softly on Hermione's cheek. She closed her mouth, and just stared into Ron's eyes, as if she could see his intentions in his eyes. His heart beating like a jackhammer in his chest, Ron put his lips on Hermione's. He had expected her to shove him off, but she returned the kiss. Ron moved his hand to the back of her neck, pulling her in for a deeper kiss. Ron felt incomparable bliss resonate through his body. For the first time in his life, he felt complete.

Hermione broke away suddenly, her eyes searching Ron questioningly. Ron stood up reluctantly and turned to Harry.

"Harry… you'll always be my best mate. I'm sorry I've been a prat lately. But I've got to go," Ron said sincerely.

Harry stared at him, and managed to say, "What?" Ron didn't answer, grabbed his cloak and ran from the common room, all the way back up to Dumbledore's office. As he climbed the spiraling staircase for the second time that night, a disbelieving numbness spread through his body.

He might never see anyone again. He might never again get to climb the moving staircases of Hogwarts, or play Quidditch, or fail miserably in his classes, or do anything he used too. Ron suddenly felt a great appreciation for even the boring things he used to do, like de-gnoming the garden.

He might never get to kiss Hermione again. And he would never go on another adventure with Harry and Hermione. Ron felt a pang of sadness more poignant than anything else he felt that night.

But that was what he was trying to get away from. He was having his own adventure without Hermione's smarts, or Harry's bravery. It was just him, Ron, alone on this one.

… This might not turn out too well then…

Ron knocked on the door and entered to find Dumbledore sitting quietly at his desk in the flickering candlelight.

"Are you ready, Ron?" Dumbledore asked in a low voice. Ron nodded. "Very well, come here," Dumbledore said, holding what looked like an empty soup can. Ron understood at once. They were traveling by portkey. Ron walked over to him, and placed a hand on the portkey. "Here we go," Dumbledore said. Ron felt a jerk about his navel and Dumbledore's office was replaced by whirling colors as Ron's body flew about, his hand still firmly attached to the soup can.

The whirling colors came to a stop, and Ron felt his feet fall upon hard ground again. Ron and Dumbledore dropped the can.

Ron heard a male voice shout the words "PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!" and then Ron fell to the ground in a blaze of red light.

As Ron lay there, frozen on the ground, he thought to himself, _This is not a good start._


	5. Arrival at Beauxbatons

I apologize for my horrid lateness on this chapter. Geez, I can't believe it took me this long. I had a lot of writer's block and then I revised it a bunch, and I'm still not completely happy with it. But **please read it and review. **You guys are wonderful. It's kind of hard writing in french accents a lot. Creative chapter title, I know. But I feel as if it's all been zapped out of me at the moment.

_ If you see me at midnight walking the streets  
You know it's me for I cannot sleep   
I've pushed away the dreams and spoiled the quiet   
I'm propelled by fear and not the righteous   
So have you been to a place like this?   
To see your breath as it paints against the sky   
The forever is near, I wish you were here.  
- Umbrellas "The City Lights" _

**Chapter 5: Arrival at Beauxbatons  
**

Ron felt a wave of fear wash over him as he struggled fruitlessly against the curse that had just been bestowed upon him. This was it. He had barely stepped foot onto his new journey, and he was already down and out.

Dumbledore's smiling face filled his vision. He was startled, even though his still body obviously did not show it. In his panic, he had forgotten about Dumbledore being with him. He felt foolish. He was not going to die, not if Dumbledore was accompanying him.

Dumbledore pointed his wand at his face and said, "_Finite __Incantatem_." Ron felt the invisible binds that had been impressed upon his body lift, and Dumbledore helped him to his feet. Ron's hand flew to his wand, and he quickly whirled around to face the direction where the red light had come from. He found Adrien standing there, his arms crossed, with an unimpressed look on his face. Lupin, Moody and Tonks were all staring in disbelief at him.

"Eef you are going to be fighting with us, you must be ready for anyzing," Adrien said, frowning deeply. Ron felt his face flush with resentment, and lowered his wand.

"You could've just told me that, you didn't have to attack me," Ron said sourly.

"Ron, please. That may be Adrien, but I ask that you please refrain from attacking my students or anyone else that is an ally to us," Dumbledore said simply. "Well, let's carry on," and he led the way down a cobbled walkway.

Ron gazed at his surroundings as he followed the tall wizard. It was nighttime, and there were no lights around, except for the moon, and the lights coming from a vast castle ahead of them. Dumbledore led them through a pair of large steel gates that had sprung open at their approach. The castle that they were heading to was huge, even though it looked a bit smaller than Hogwarts. It was a creamy yellow color that reminded Ron of vanilla pudding. The walkway up to the school was lined with merry looking flowers, even though some of them were trampled. The whole grounds seemed to look like a garden and Ron was reminded of a country cottage.

Dumbledore came to a halt in front of a pair of large oak doors, and Ron nearly ran into him. They waited for a second or two, and then the doors opened, and a boy and a girl came out dressed in the blue robes that Ron had seen the Beauxbaton students wear during the Triwizard Tournament.

The girl smiled at them, and Ron was struck dumb with how pretty she was. She had straight raven colored hair that framed her heart-shaped face. Her eyes were a warm amber color, and her cheeks seemed flushed a little bit.

"Welcome to Beauxbatons!" she exclaimed, her voice heavy with her French accent.

"We are 'ere to bring you to Madame Maxine," the other boy said, his voice didn't have the same warmness and hospitality of the girl next to him. In fact, he looked quite bored. He had sandy blond hair, and he was heavily tanned. However, his superior manner reminded Ron greatly of Malfoy. His golden eyes flicked over them all lazily. He nodded in recognition towards Adrien, who nodded back. The girl however, showed no inclination that she recognized Adrien.

"My name is Eloise, and zis is Paul. We're 'ead boy and girl 'ere," she said cheerfully, stretching out a hand to shake Dumbledore's.

"Nice to meet you both," Dumbledore replied in his own cheery tone, "This is Ronald Weasley-," Ron felt his heartbeat quicken as she smiled at him broadly, but Dumbledore continued and her gaze was averted. "And this is Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, and Alastor Moody. I'm certain that you already know Adrien." Eloise's smile looked a little strained, but she nodded. Adrien was staring intently at her, and fidgeting nervously.

"Madame Maxine is waiting," Paul said gruffly, opening the doors and beckoning them to follow. They all consented, and Elise and Paul led the way through the Beauxbatons entrance hall. Ron gaped at the hall as they were led straight through and up a flight of stairs.

The whole hall seemed to be made of the finest marble. The white was blinding to Ron's eye, and he found himself squinting slightly. Even the portraits on the walls had people dressed in fine clothes and were painted into rich looking houses and elegant backgrounds. They sniffed disapprovingly as their procession passed them. Even the candleholders seemed to be made of crystal, and there was the biggest chandelir that Ron had ever seen hanging from the ceiling. Everything seemed smooth, and Ron was worried about slipping on the stairs. It was very beautiful, but Ron preferred Hogwarts' stonewalls and staircases much more.

"Beautiful, isn't it Ron?" Dumbledore spoke, interrupting Ron's musings. Ron shrugged.

"Well yeah, but I like Hogwarts better," he answered truthfully. He heard Adrien huff disapprovingly behind him. In front of them, Eloise turned around and smiled sweetly at Ron.

"Do you really? 'ow is eet at 'ogwarts? I've always wanted to visit," she said eagerly, joining Ron and Dumbledore on the other side of Ron. Ron felt his body temperature rise.

"Well, erm… it's nice… and it's gray… and big," Ron stammered, cursing at himself for sounding so dumb. Eloise, however, giggled and the smile did not disappear from her face.

"Oh well, I've always liked ze color gray," Eloise said amiably.

"Um, yes, it's a good color…" Ron trailed off awkwardly. He looked up to Dumbledore as if for help, but Dumbledore winked and dropped behind them to say something to Lupin as they passed through more marble corridors. There were no other corridors and Ron was reminded that there was a time change from England and France. It was clearly late at night here. They passed through more and more corridors and three more flights of stairs. Ron felt as though they would never get there.

"Did you just graduate from 'ogwarts? You must be a very good wizard to be joining Adrien and ze others on such an important and dangerous mission," Eloise said, staring intently at Ron's reddening face. He didn't want to tell her that he wasn't a special wizard at all, and that he was only here because he told his potions master to go to hell.

"Well, I'm actually still in my 6th year at Hogwarts…" Ron answered uncomfortably.

"Oh! You must be a really good wizard zen to be 'ere when you 'aven't even graduated yet!" she paused for a second, and then went on to say, "And you're pretty cute too, Ronald," without a hint of shame or embarrassment. Ron felt his insides warm and his heart thump painfully against his ribs. "We're almost zere!" Eloise exclaimed, walking a little faster to catch up to Paul at the front of their group.

"Hey, call me Ron," Ron called after her. She smiled at him over her shoulder.

"And you can call me Ellie, like my friends do," she answered. Then she whirled about and joined Paul. Suddenly, Ron felt a hand tightly grip his right shoulder and wheel him around.

He found himself face to face with an ill-tempered Adrien.

"You stay away from 'er, you 'ear?" he spat angrily into Ron's bewildered face.

"What?" he asked stupidly.

"She is mine," he said, tightening his grip on Ron's shoulder even more. Ron grimaced and felt as though his shoulder might crack from the pressure, but he did not falter.

"I wasn't aware that she was the property of anyone," he shot back. Adrien's features contorted even more, and he clenched his other hand in a fist, as if to punch Ron.

"You two getting along alright?" came the grisly voice of Moody from behind Adrien. Adrien released Ron's shoulder.

"Yes. We are fine," Adrien answered coldly, and strode past Ron, bumping him in the shoulder. Ron glared at him, and turned around to follow, Moody clunking by his side.

"Those French… mighty possessive, they are. They're very passionate too," Moody growled. Ron shrugged, making it clear he didn't want to talk about Adrien.

Pretty soon they reached the end of the corridor and found a portrait of a bony woman wearing a bright yellow silky gown resting on a dark purple futon.

"Mot de passe?" she asked elegantly.

"Cabriolets," Paul answered in a bored voice. The lady nodded and the picture sung inwardly. Paul and Ellie stood to the side as Dumbledore, Tonks, Adrien, and Lupin entered through the doorway the picture created. Moody went before Ron, but Ron hesitated.

"Aren't you coming?" he asked Ellie. The French girl looked surprised but then smiled.

"No silly. Eet is private. I am not eenvolved en your mission!" she said with a tinkling chuckle. Paul rolled his eyes.

"Oh. Right," Ron said, once again cursing himself for his stupid remarks.

"But I know I will be seeing you soon!" she said enthusiastically, and then she grasped Ron's shoulders and kissed him first on the left cheek and then on the right cheek. "Adieu!" and with a wave, she followed Paul down the corridor. Ron stared at her shiny black hair dreamily for a second, but then snapped back to reality when the portrait threatened to snap close on his big feet if he didn't get inside.

He stumbled inside, and found himself in a large round room. It was painted a light slightly sickening pink with many pictures of old haughty looking wizards on the walls. It was heavily furnished, with many oak dressers, and had pink curtains covering the windows.

"And 'oo is zis?" boomed a heavily accented French voice from the center of the room. Sitting in a comfortable looking pink armchair sat Madame Maxine. Ron recognized her immediately as she seemed to take up half the office by herself.

"This is Ronald Weasley, he will be aiding us here," Dumbledore answered kindly, winking at Ron. Madame Maxine turned her nose up slightly.

"'e seems young." Ron bristled slightly. It was very discouraging to hear people say that over and over again.

"I assure you, he is quite capable," Dumbledore said. Madame Maxine scrutinized Ron for a moment more, and then shrugged lightly and turned back to Dumbledore.

"Well, I welcome you to our wonderful school, and hope that you zolve our problem!"

"We will, Madame Maxine, I promise you that we will. And now that you're all settled in, I will be taking my leave," Dumbledore said, leaning down to kiss the hand that Madame Maxine offered to him.

"What? You're not staying with us?" Ron exclaimed. He had never thought he was going to have to do this without Dumbledore.

"I must Ron, I'm sorry, but I have other issues that I need to attend to also. You will be just fine, I know it," he said clasping a reassuring hand on Ron's shoulder. Ron nodded weakly.

"Thank you, sir." Dumbledore then nodded to the others, and exited through the portrait hole. Ron felt his chance of surviving this detention fly through the portrait hole with him.

"Our aurors will know when eet is ze right time to infiltrate ze ministry, and will alert you. But I'm sure you are all tired, and should rest. I will be taking you to where you will be staying," Madame Maxine said, getting out of her chair and towering over the rest of them. She made her way to the portrait hole and gestured to them to follow.

Ron blindly followed the others down corridors and up staircases as they climbed even higher into the castle. All that was occupying his mind was the numb realization that he would probably die and never see his friends or family again. What hope did he have of surviving with Dumbledore gone?

He trudged on after the others, even though all he wanted to do was collapse and fall unconscious in a dreamless sleep so that he didn't have to think about these troubling problems any longer. But of course, he seriously doubted he could clear his mind enough tonight to get any sleep. Finally they came to a door at the top of a long flight of stairs.

Madame Maxine opened the door and ducked to get inside. The others followed, and Ron looked around at the surroundings. It was a long circular room, with 4 beds, 4 dressers and a bathroom at the end with another door next to it. There were intricately designed rugs and tapestries on the walls. The beds looked extremely inviting, even though the blankets were pink. There were even pajamas for all of them on each of the beds.

"Zis is where you will be staying. Nymphadora, you will be staying in a conjoined room, through zat door," she pointed to the door next to the bathroom. Tonks smiled wanfully.

"Thank you, and please call me Tonks."

"Tonks?" Madame Maxine looked confused but then went on addressing all of them, "I 'ope you enjoy, it was ze best we could do under the circumstances and the short notice. I will send a house-elf up in ze morning to tell you when breakfast is."

"Thank you, it's wonderful," Lupin said graciously.

"No, thank you all for coming to our aid," Madame Maxine said genuinely.

"It's no problem really, we want to do as much as we can to help," Tonks said amiably. Madame Maxine nodded with a wide smile and bowed out of the room.

The others drifted to their beds and began getting ready to sleep, talking heartily. Ron couldn't help but feel that some of the optimistic tones were forced.

Ron suddenly felt a shroud of weariness overtake his body. He tore off his sneakers and examined the pajamas on his chosen bed. They seemed to be made of a silky light blue material, and had an embroidered dark blue 'B' in the corner on a chest pocket. Beauxbaton students clearly liked to live in luxury. He shrugged and threw the pajamas onto his bedside table. Then he collapsed into the pink bed. He inhaled slowly, enjoying the fresh scent of the clean linens. He wrestled himself under the covers, and layed face down in his pillow.

"Are you alright Ron?" Ron peeled his face away from the pillow to find himself looking into Lupin's worried eyes.

"Yes, yes, I'm okay," Ron lied. Lupin raised an eyebrow disbelievingly, but smiled all the same.

"Well okay. Try not to suffocate yourself too much with your pillow," he said before drifting towards his own bed. Ron laid down staring at the ceiling.

_Might as well suffocate myself with my pillow before some death eater gets me,_ he thought to himself glumly. The lights went off in the room and the occupants said goodnight to each other. Ron said nothing. He was too distracted and disturbed to offer such a normal courtesy.

He felt so utterly alone, laying there in a strange country, millions of miles away from all of his friends and family. But this feeling of alone went so much deeper. He felt as though he were falling into an abyss of darkness and uncertainty and no one could help him out. He tried to brush his fear away, but could not manage it.

_At least I've found a girl who actually likes me here, _he thought to himself, thinking briefly of Ellie with her bright smile and shiny hair. Somehow, he could gather no comfort from this feeble thought. He tried to move onto other thoughts to distract him from thinking thoughts about his ultimate death and demise.

Hermione's face flashed into his mind. He remembered how one day last year he and Hermione were under a tree out on the Hogwarts grounds, doing homework in the spring sunshine. He remembered exactly how the sun had reflected down on Hermione's tawny hair, and how her skin looked almost golden beneath the rays. Her hair fell in her face as she leaned down to write something on her parchment, and she hastily brushed it away with a delicate hand. He sat there, not able to concentrate on his charms homework, trying not to draw her attention to his fixations on her.

She looked up from her scribbling and Ron hastily dropped his eyes to his blank piece of parchment.

"Ron are you going to do any homework at all?" she asked exasperatedly. He couldn't understand how she would expect him to get any homework done at all when she was sitting there looking so beautiful.

"Maybe someday. I don't really see the point though, as you're going to help me on it anyways," Ron answered, leaning backwards and laying down on the grass. He watched floating dust particles visible in the afternoon sunlight drift about lazily. He heard Hermione sniff disapprovingly.

"And what would you do if I weren't there to help you on homework?" she demanded.

"Hermione, without you, I'd probably just die," he said, not even thinking about the words coming out of his mouth. He tensed for a minute. He had meant to say something sarcastic and funny, but he had said exactly what had been on his mind.

"Well then," Hermione began quietly. "You better hope that you never leave me." The silence between them seemed deafening. Ron lay immobile, no longer concentrating on the dust particles, but on the weight of what Hermione had just said. Before Ron could further contemplate her statement, she had jumped to her feet.

"Come on, we should get inside now," and then she was already walking across the grass. Ron grudgingly grabbed his things and followed her, all the while wondering what she meant at that statement she made. He remembered he had been upset with her for the rest of the day for being so cryptic. But he still marveled at the way the sunlight reflected off her hair and skin and made her look absolutely perfect.

Ron snapped back to reality, and to the dark bedroom and the light snores of someone else in the room. He shifted and lay comfortably on his side. At the soothing memory of Hermione he felt his worries drift away, and felt his eyelids droop. He felt somewhat at peace, even though he knew his problems were nowhere near resolved. He wondered briefly if Hermione was okay, and whether she was thinking about him or not. Then Ron fell into the deep, dreamless sleep he had hoped for, aided by the memories of a girl a million miles away who was awake in her dormitory, wondering if he was okay and if she would ever have the chance to kiss him again.


End file.
